When you have no choice but to slow down

I recently had the opportunity to share my story on a fantastic podcast called: COURAGE CAST

Courage Cast is the brainchild of my friend Eric Nordhoff. He’s a fantastic individual, passionate motivator, loyal husband, great father, hard-working entrepreneur, and a strong man of faith. BOOM! 

Over the past seven weeks, I’ve learned a lot through a second bout with lovely crippling back pain. From confronting my fears, to learning the benefits of a forced sabbatical – Eric and I discuss small business and entrepreneurship, working hard, old shenanigans and God’s unbelievable grace and provision in our time of need.

I hope you listen and enjoy. Please look up and follow “COURAGE CAST” (especially episode 203). Thanks for having me on Eric!

LIFE WORD for 2017

2016 was a rush! January 1 is one my favorite days of the year because it allows us to start anew. Years ago, I had a guest tell me that they put a word as a forecast for their up-and-coming year. This word encapsulated their hopes, dreams, prayers, and would ultimately catapult their thoughts into actions to achieve their goals. I love this concept. So, I ripped it off and made it my own! 
I’ve come to call this word my “life word” for the year. This word will follow me spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. My word for this year is hyphenated (because I’m cheating). It is…. Hyper-focus. 

I plan on saying no to things that I shouldn’t do to make room for saying “yes” to the things that I needs MY focus. I will be saying no to personal social media, mass screen time and other forms of digital life. I will say no to certain foods. I will say no to certain activities. All with the purpose of creating the opportunity to say yes to only the most important for this year.

I will say yes to exercise. I will say yes to relationships that build me up. I will say yes to reading the Bible. I will say no to debt. I will say yes to reading books that strengthen my mind. 

Some of you might be rolling your eyes at this point. I know I sound like a Tony Robbins conference. But there is power in your words and your thoughts. We often allow the dredge of life to take control of our thoughts both subconsciously and consciously. I will start 2017 hyper focused. 

So I will rhetorically ask you, what is your life word? How is this word going to impact your year? Best to us all in 2017!

FOCUS for 2017

I’m pretty excited about 2017. I always like using the New Year to establish goals in the hopes of maxing it out.  I generally like to have ONE WORD that encompasses my vision for the year. My word for 2017 is “FOCUS”. As a result of “FOCUS”, I’m cutting out distractions of many kinds. One of many items I’m cutting is personal social media. I have limited social media in past years but this year, I’m cutting it out.  This video helped give me approval to me make my decision: http://youtu.be/3E7hkPZ-HTk

If you’d like updates during the year, feel free to visit my blog: https://mattfine.wordpress.com.  You can also sign up for the mailing list at the website too!  I hope to actually connect with you in person or over the phone in 2017.  It’s gonna be crazy, like early 1991!

I had Back Surgery…..Here’s what I learned

I recently had back surgery on a herniated disk. The bummer of it….I don’t have a good story for how I hurt myself. I’m just getting old….one day at a time.  I knew I was hurt, but didn’t recognize how bad things really were.  Over the next 16 weeks, the sciatic pain caused by the herniation continued to increase to a point I it took about 3 hours to fully stand up in the morning.  Pain would shoot from my hip to my foot like I was being shocked.  Eventually, I started falling down.  I was in bad shape.  I ended up getting an MRI and discovered the herniation.  We tried meds delivered through an epidural into the disk to help inflammation and pain.  This was supposed to give the body some relief to heal itself.  I got 9 days of “better” and the pain returned.  I saw numerous docs and used both traditional and untraditional methods to find relief.

For the first time in my life I started feeling hopeless.  I tend to be a pretty optimistic individual, but I was beaten down and done.  With good counsel, we elected for surgery.  I woke up from surgery and knew the stabbing pressure was gone.

I am now 7 weeks out and recovering.  There is still some lingering nerve pain.  This pain might go away in time.  It might not.  But either way, I’m better.  And I’m grateful;   Grateful for wise counsel, great doctors, pain meds without addictions, an understanding and supportive wife, a team of amazing coworkers that covered my awesome guests while I was out of work, and the grace of God. I live with a newfound compassion for people who struggle with chronic pain.  Before experiencing this issue, I “thought” I had compassion and understanding.  I had no idea.  What did I learn?  I learned I need to be present and enjoy every moment.  I want to truly listen to people.  And I want to love while I have the amazing opportunity.  Thanks for reading.  Love each other out there!

I went to Haiti last month…

I recently went on a trip to Haiti with my friend Mike from Hoperageous. Hoperageous wants fight poverty by creating jobs. By creating jobs, they avoid enabling and create positive socially economic growth. Our goal was to open a store that sells merchandise made locally to volunteer groups visiting My Life Speaks.

First, let me just say that the family that started this organization is simply amazing. They have immerse themselves in the Haitian culture and will make a huge impact in many peoples lives there. It was great to see how they use their resources, money, and passions to make a positive impact in their community. Missy, seem to have a similar spirit of my late aunt Alesa. Such a giving, sweet lady! The best thing about this family (other than their sons basketball skills) is I can give to them and their organization with full confidence. They take little, waste nothing, and give greatly. 

How was the trip? The best one word answer I can come up with is outstanding. It’s hard to explain the depth of experience from the trip. Despite living conditions that are different than what I’m used to, most people seemed genuinely happy. There were smiles all over the village. It’s a beautiful country and the people are amazing.
A friend asked me a question that floored me. “How will this trip change the way you parent”? Our first day at the orphanage I was introduced to “restivecs”. Restivecs are basically a child indentured servant. A family will give their child up to a host family with the promise for greater opportunity, education, and food. This sounds like a fantastic idea, however it is become more of a Cindarella type situation. I basically saw children my daughters age walk in from being “on the clock”. My Life Speaks gives them full plates of food (3 days a week). The kids then play with their friends for about an hour and a half before getting back to the host family. This was confusing and shocking to me at first, but I have to remember that this is their culture.
You often get to see pictures of Haiti as a country with great need and sympathy raising photos. Although these photos are easy to produce because the need is great, I have to say the country itself is beautiful. The countryside, the mountains, the ocean, the barrier reefs, the food, and the people are simply beautiful. I look forward to going back someday!  Enjoy these Hoperageous pictures!
  
  
  

  

I locked up my wife, made a coffee table, and changed my alternator.

Mother’s Day started out with me accidentally locking Lori in our bedroom for two hours while I took the girls to church. My goal was to lock our bedroom door from the outside so the girls wouldn’t bother her. I ended up forgetting that I did this. Thus, she was locked in her room. Even though she was unable to get coffee (but could still smell that ‘best part of waking up’ smell), she was okay and read for a couple hours.   When I got back home, I made sliders and sweet potato chips for lunch. After lunch I made a new coffee table from 100-year-old Shelbyville, Tennessee reclaimed wood. I had dinner with her entire family and proceeded to change my alternator. If you’re a hairdresser, it’s no different than classic long layers. (Wink)  Between all of this, I called my mom twice. Today was a good day I didn’t have to use my AK. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you ladies with offspring!

I just ran over a squirrel. Here’s what I learned…

It was 7:30 AM on a Sunday morning. My daughters and I were driving to grab some donuts and run a couple errands – letting mom get some much-needed and rarely experienced rest.

The squirrel incident, which I will now referred to as “the accident”, happened in an instant. When accidents happen, it seems like time slows down. I felt like the squirrel and I had time to make decisions. I had the decision to swerve and try to miss him. However, after subconsciously evaluating the value of my precious cargo, I decided to stay the course and leave the decision up to him.

I noticed that the squirrel did a couple of indecisive shifts, like a hockey player juking the goalie. When he started, he was fully committed to crossing the road and then changed courses a couple times trying to avoid “the accident”. The jukes lead him back in harms way.

It was in this moment I realized how important decisiveness is in life. When you make a commitment, you should move in that direction with 100% of your energy. Being timid and indecisive, will only bring more “accidents”.

In what way are you indecisive? How can you change that moving forward into 2015?

2015 has the ability to be amazing! Here’s a website that can help you out. Enjoy.

BEST YEAR EVER

I’m a music fan….these songs helped me enjoy it again.

About a decade after making a conscious choice to pursue another career other than music, I’m finally able to enjoy music as a fan vs a creator. That’s been a journey. At first, listening to music was sad. Every time I listened to a great song, I was reminded of my love for playing music, the loss from it and to be honest – jealousy of others who still creating it. I’m also excited I’ve found a new outlet of creativity. I’m so thankful to be in a place where I can just listen and enjoy. Here’s a few songs I’ve really enjoyed this year.

NASHVILLE TUNES THAT ARE KILLER FOR 2014!
From the Farro Brothers. These dudes are sick!
Farro

Half Noise

BELOW ARE 3 OF MY FAVORITE SONGS I’VE LISTENED TO THIS YEAR.

Manchester Orchestra “Every Stone”
This version is the sad one. There’s a rock version that ‘s great too.

Say Lou Lou – “Julian”
Video is intense. What a great song.

Glass Animals – “Gooey”
Live from Capital Records

I was in a band. Here’s what I learned…

Being in the band is probably the closest thing I’ll ever experience (God willing) to being in a foxhole with a group of guys. I’m not comparing being in a band to the valor of the men who spent their time in foxholes.  But what I am saying is we spent a lot of time together and became very close.  In almost a decade of pursuing music as a full-time career, I experienced a ton of fun stories and experiences.

After reflecting on that period in my life, I’ve come to the conclusion there are some bigger lessons being taught through the process. Here are three of my favorite things I learned from pursuing music.

1. The Power of One Team, One Vision.  A band is a group of individuals who come together to work in unity for one like-minded vision and goal. A similar element of teamwork is found in marriage, on the kid’s ball teams, at track meets, in office spaces, in churches and in any organization that’s bigger than one party. Winning and losing like a team is one of the biggest life lessons I’ve learned through this process. All for one, one for all!  Finding the right people to be on your team is vital to success.

2. Focus on the details and craftsmanship.  Some home builders make houses.  Some builders make craftsman style homes.  Some people cut hair.  Some cut shapes with such precision that it lasts four times as long as a 6.99 sale.  The point is, minor details make huge impacts.  The details are usually the difference between average and extraordinary. Be extraordinary.

3. Have Fun.  The best part of doing what you do well, is having fun while you do it.  They say 10,000 hours is what it takes to become an expert in something.  Once you’ve reached an expert level within a field, it then becomes a blasty blast.    Whether you make music, build homes, cut hair, or any number of other occupations and hobbies –  work hard and become a craftsman.

No matter what we do with the rest of our life, these rules are applicable.  Oh yeah, we also tend to get cynical.  Fight that daily.  Have fun and enjoy the process.  Go Team.

Something was in my toe. Here’s what I learned.

So I had something bothering me. There were something in the bottom of my right toe. Numerous times I tried to dig it out and find out what it was. I could never find it. This went on for about 10 months. It was irritating enough that every time I took a step, I could feel the soreness deep inside my toe. It was sensitive enough that when I put any kind of pressure on the toe, it would hurt. It wasn’t disabling.  I could still function.  However, I kept thinking “this is getting really annoying”.

Finally one day I got really sick of it. I decided I would excavate until I either found what was in it, or I didn’t have a toe left.

After digging a crater out of my toe, I finally found the foreign object. It was hair splinter. This tiny sliver of hair was about a quarter inch long. Hairstylist get hair splinters often. But this one was kind of shocking.  As soon as I got the hair out, I put pressure on my foot and noticed that the pain was gone.  I was so thankful to finally find relief after all this time.

Upon reflecting on and analyzing this event, here’s what I learned.

1. Little things can fester: Big obstacles in life are easy to spot. However it’s the small things that can often go unchecked. The small things can end up making huge impacts in life.

2. You have to go to the core issue: On numerous occasions, I tried finding what was in my toe. The problem is, I never found the core or root issue. It wasn’t until I took the time and went through the pain of digging deep that I could find the actual problem and could adequately deal with it.

3. Give yourself time: Life gets busy. We rarely give ourselves time to dig deep, reflect, and change issues in our life.

Summary…  Little things make big impacts! What unchecked items are you carrying? Don’t let little splinters go unchecked and get you off track.